Are men just LAZY?
As stay-home parents, we spend a lot of time with each other. We make many observations about each other, sometimes right and sometimes wrong. Debra rightly observes:
1. I respond a lot worse to aches and pains after a long day of managing the little ones.
2. I recover slower and tend to function poorer with less sleep.
3. I get many things done, expand a lot of energy but crash out later
As with most things, this can be interpreted very differently. Is this being less committed and lazy? Thankfully, some understanding can go a long way in reducing friction!
#1 Yes, men CAN be lazy
Oh yes. Some men can really be lazy. Lazy as (fill in the blank). They refuse to clear their own dishes, doesn't do anything, use their phones all day long and wait to be served. Consider an industrial action. Okay, let's call it a domestic strike! In this day and age, it isn't possible to be hands-off unless you have domestic help. This is however just a partial understanding of the whole situation....read on!
#2 Physiological Differences
"women have the advantage of recovering faster and being more fatigue-resistant. Estrogen-B seems to have an effect in muscle contractile speed, making men more efficient in producing power and women more efficient in healing"
It seems that women's muscles seem to recovering faster and last longer. Men are stronger ,more powerful but recover slower and get tired more easily. Maybe that is why there has to be some teamwork and acceptance of each other's strength and weaknesses!
This understanding helps us understand that perhaps it isn't always laziness that makes men sleep more and seem to have low endurance. They could really just be TIRED. That said, this shouldn't be an excuse for NOT DOING anything at home.
#3 Cultural norms
Being a stay-home dad helps me realise HOW MUCH there is to be done at home. It helps me realise how super-human our moms/grandmothers are because dads of the older days were mostly uninvolved domestically. We cannot deny that although cultural norms have been challenged and shifted, many men are still not taking up their share of housework and child rearing duties. It takes a strong team to raise children properly, run a house well and maintain a strong relationship. Take time to discuss and perhaps challenge those norms!
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Read the entire "The Odd Life" Series HERE!
Vincent & Debra Kwan, Founders of Hiro & Jack and stay-at-home parents with the odd life.