Are you struggling with parental guilt?
#What is Parental guilt?
ALL parents feel guilty for a long list of reasons. Most often, we feel guilty for not providing enough. We feel the guilt of not giving our children enough time, enough tuition, enough endowment savings.
There are other times when we times we feel guilty because we may have been too giving. Have I given my child too much unhealthy food? Did he/she get too much screen time?
As compared to when I was having a full time job, I feel the guilt more acutely as a stay home dad. I feel as if I am home all the time and so I am compelled to give them more time. On the other hand, the house needs to be cleaned and work needs to be done. I feel that I may be shortchanging my children by investing in our blog and business instead of getting out there to earn the big bucks.
Regardless of your job, being a parent is tough! Juggling between cleaning up after your children, feeding them and nurturing them to fulfil their potential often seem to require some rocket science!
#How do we get rid of it?
The fact of the matter is, you will always feel that guilt again at some point. It is important to know that we can still get rid of it instead of piling up parenting guilt on ourselves.
Positive step 1: Talk about it
The thing about parental guilt, it doesn't always show on your face. It is usually a silent and powerful negative thought happening inside you. If you keep it inside, it will consume you. You need to talk about how you feel! Talk to someone you can trust to listen and help you achieve a positive outcome!
Positive step 2: Think objectively
This is one of the most underrated strategies! Don't let emotions get the better of you. Ask yourself simple questions like: "Is that humanly possible", "Is this in my control?", "Are my expectations reasonable?"
If you answers are NO, then it is clear you have allowed emotions to get the better of you.
Take a deep breath, get reflective. Take stock of what the situation really is and how you can realistically improve it.
Positive step 3: Set Achievable goals
Setting achievable goals can help you get rid of that guilt. Without vision, people perish. People perish because they have no direction, they lose hope and feel guilty. Parents need a vision of who they want to be and what they want to do.
If we set achievable goals within the confines of our limitations, we can have positive outcomes for both the entire family!
If You work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, it is natural for you to feel guilty for not spending enough time with your child because they are in bed by the time you get home. Don't beat yourself up for that!
Objective thinking = I am working hard to provide for the family, I will set the achievable an goal to spend X hours on my off day and give my children 100% attention during that time.
The next time you feel that crushing parental guilt, remember....
"You will always feel that guilt again at some point.
So....talk about it, think objectively and set achievable goals!
Read the entire "The Odd Life" Series HERE!
Vincent & Debra Kwan, Founders of Hiro & Jack and stay-at-home parents with the odd life.