Summer 2024 has been a great time of celebration and connection. It was a time we will look back at fondly and cherish for a long time.

Here is how this splendid summer went from start to finish in chronological order...

Starting off with a bang

Summer started off rather strangely with frost on the grass in June. Throw in the sudden abundance of freedom from piles of paper, books and intense brain work, it made us very restless waiting for something summery to turn up. We took the plunge and decided for ourselves SUMMER IS NOW! That meant we took 636 mile (1023km) round trip to Cornwall (the very south western tip of the UK). I won't go into the nitty gritty details because I've written a post for that trip here: www.hirojack.com/blog/am-i-too-old-for-this#/
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We visited Tintagel Castle, St Michael's Mount and stuffed ourselves with the most delicious Cornish pasties. These are arguably the Crown Jewels of a very stunning part of the UK. We celebrated the blue skies, emerald waters and a well deserved break!

Everything in between

We are no longer travelling full time and I think we quite enjoy this freedom to roam and yet be rooted at the same time. We have found ourselves a great community and summer meant more gatherings and being outside.

It was nice connecting with people again! I think all four of us would agree it was nice having me back from being holed up in the study for months getting the dissertation finished. 

​Between travelling and meeting people, school continued and dad's taxi schedule was really packed. Gwyn's scheduled was packed with dance practices for her exams and major performance. Despite it being her first taste of formal testing (by an examiner that isn't her parents), she did really well. 

In the midst of all this chaos Gwyn also asked for a guitar and wanted to learn it after seeing me play and sing for the Sunday school kids. Makes me strangely proud she picked up the guitar. Don't particularly fancy the colour though 🤣

June flashed by really really quickly and it felt like we didn't do much for the month. Not sure if we expected July to turn out the way it did....

Jam-packed and Jubilant July

The first week of July started off with the UK general elections, Gwyn performing at 3 shows and preparing my family's visit. I think it caught us slightly off guard. We didn't expect ourselves to be that tired. 

But before we knew it, we were up and down the motorway travelling to London to meet my family whom we've not met for almost two years. In the midst of all that commuting chaos, Gwyneth asked me if she could get the soft toy in a claw machine at mall near an underground station. I was a little shocked because she never asks for toys like that. I'm so glad I said yes. (I shocked myself by saying yes too). We celebrated the first time we've ever caught anything with a claw machine. That toy is now hugged and loved every night in bed. 

Just cannot emphasise how important it is to sometimes say yes in the midst of a busy schedule and exhausting day. It might just be the makings of a very precious memory. 

For the next two weeks, the family had a great time seeing the UK, catching up and enjoying meals together. We've not seen our little nephews and niece for a long time. It was such a precious time holding their hands chatting with them and showing them the land we now call home. 

The highlight of it all was being able to celebrate Matt and Gwyn's Baptism and my graduation with the family. It was a joy and privilege to be all together to celebrate life's big moments. 

It's shocking how quickly all this went by. We were back in London saying our goodbyes and we'll meet agains. 

It was however not that shocking that England lost at the European cup finals....again. Can't say that's a highlight of our summer but Matt and I made many memories of yelling at the TV in anguish and joy 😅

We had some down time to ourselves before we resumed our adventures in the final week of July. 
The kids finally had their first taste of the Cinema. I can't believe we took 10 years to take Matt to the cinema. ​We watched Despicable Me 4 and Gwyn even dressed up as a minion! We had the whole theatre to ourselves and it was really awesome! 

After a brief lull period, we visited The Black Country Museum (in West Midlands near Birmingham). This amazing museum is a living museum with "actors" telling stories in period costumes. You get to time-travel and experience school lessons of the past, go in a mine, ride an old Routemaster double deck bus to the next part of the museum and enter realistic period-accurate buildings that tell a story. 

There was even an operating chip shop that cooked the fish and chips in beef dripping. Oh my goodness, it tasted divine! This museum is an absolute treat for all your senses. You get to see real buildings and touch artefacts from the past. You'll get to hear stories and listen to music as well as the old black country dialect. You'll ride the old buses, experience the dark cold mines and school lessons of the past. I definitely loved that integral to the whole museum experience were an operating pub and a real chip shop. How often do you get to taste old school fish and chips as well as beer in a Museum?!

July ended off with a trip to Leeds for the Monopoly takeover and the seaside at Blackpool. I must add that at this point we are quite done with the heat of summer wishing cooler days would return. It was absolutely boiling in Leeds when we were out looking for clues, finding "properties" around the Leeds city centre. 

With quite a few hours of daylight to spare, we decided we had enough of the heat and headed for Blackpool to cool off for the evening. There's just something magical about walking along a boardwalk/pier into the open sea while enjoying the breeze and sunset. 

Astonishing august

I think we are astonished ourselves after an amazing June and July that August would be just as good. We started August with a trip to our favourite place in the world. Those who have been with us throughout our journey here would know that Cregennan Lakes in Gwynedd, Wales is especially special to us. We laid out our picnic mat and camping chairs, soaked in the stunning landscape and  celebrated our 12th marriage anniversary! 

Our first Bristol Balloon festival last summer turned out to be the wettest and muddiest we've ever experienced. This year we were really really fortunate to have blue skies, sunshine and a cool breeze. It was a relaxing day sitting in a large estate, soaking in the sights and just enjoying each other's presence. Maybe next year's winds will be perfect and we'll finally get to see the balloons take off! 

 Feeling the warmth of the flames in the cool evening breeze and watching the night sky glow in sync with the music is just phenomenal. But of course, there's always something about the weather to complain about...

We had some really hot days lined up after the festival and on the hottest day of the year we escaped to South Wales where it was a whole 10 celcius cooler. We visited the Royal Mint and went for the factory tour to see how coins are made. Apart from the tour, we also got a history lesson of coin making and the mint at the exhibition. We even managed to strike our own coin celebrating the Olympics and sporting the new king's face! I was most amused to see the widest smile on Matt's face when he got to touch and lift a real 999.9 gold bar weighing 400 troy ounce (12.4kg).  

The rest of the year's hottest day was spent up the Bwlch Mountain. What's a trip to Wales without visiting a mountain? Never happens with us! haha! I pushed the little car's tiny engine hard round the hairpins and inclines before we were rewarded with these amazing views + a photo-bombing sheep.

It wouldn't be the last time we'd be out in the country side....because the last bits of summer was spent having picnics with friends and enjoying walks together. 

It was also spent on property websites looking for our new home this summer because our landlord is selling. We encountered terrible property agencies and discriminatory landlords. Discriminating against families with children isn't as bad as the outright racism we faced in Singapore where landlords would say "No certain race" or "Race X only" but it's something fairly uncomfortable to experience. 
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The search for a property goes on...not the most ideal way to end an amazing summer. Regardless, I think we've scored a hat trick of amazing summers...

​1. It all started with our 7 month long Grand Tour in South East Asia
https://www.hirojack.com/blog/category/the-grand-tour-2022/3#/

​2. Our stupendous 2023 British summer 
https://www.hirojack.com/blog/a-stupendous-summer#/
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3. And now in 2024 a very very splendid summer!

​It is going to be a very changeable autumn with all the house moving, making career choices, restarting of the business.  We really don't know what lies ahead but we are surely hoping that this awesome streak will never end. We are also focusing on the little ones' birthdays this week!

How did your summer go? What do you love and hate most about summers? Would you enjoy a summer like ours?

We've travelled as a family from the time Matt was 3 months old and then when Gwyn came into the scene it was a 3 year old and an infant. Those were hard days I must confess. If you are not going to read the rest of this post, just remember that understanding and meeting each child's needs is the key. 

We've been asked a lot about how we are able to go on adventures and travel extensively even though we have two children in tow. I don't claim that we know everything but we do have a system that we follow. It works very well for us and can work for others too. But we most definitely don't claim that it works for every child. Neither are we going to leave tonnes of Amazon links of products you can buy. This post is really a plain and simple guide to how we did it and perhaps it could be of help to you. 

It boils down to FOOD, ENTERTAINMENT, PLANNING and EQUIPMENT. 

Whenever we travel, we almost always do two things: 

On road trips, we calculate the amount of driving needed and estimate where we'd be. Stops are intentional and the food places are decided before we even step out of the house. Search for restaurants on google maps and read the reviews. This is especially essential if you have dietary restrictions like we do. We search for restaurants that serve gluten-free food or naturally gluten-free dishes. We avoid places that aren't child friendly. Also, when meal times happen when it is supposed to, you eradicate the low-blood sugar, "hangry" tantrums that even adults are susceptible to. 

When flying airlines that don't serve food, skip the timings that cross into meal times (e.g. 3 hr flights from 1130am to 230pm or 530 to 830pm). It'll be too early for your next meal but you'll be at the check in, going through security and sitting in the plane with an empty tummy. Throw in a delay on the tarmac, you'll have disaster. 

We ALWAYS carry a snack bag when we are travelling. Protein bars, gummy bears, crisps and fruits. This is an emergency stash that we sometimes don't tell the kids we have (if not it'll be empty before we even get on the motorway). It is especially important because sometimes we are up a mountain and the day's activities are strenuous. We get hungry faster and we need a snack boost. They come in handy to stall time when we are stuck in traffic and facing a delay. 

There will always be parts of a journey that's boring. So we can't blame kids when they fuss. Just imagine being strapped into a carseat with a 5 point seatbelt for hours and not being able to properly look outside the window. I'd scream too. 

Our strategy is to download music on our music app that everyone enjoys. We also download songs that the kids love i.e (The Wiggles, Disney songs, Frozen soundtracks, Ed Sheeran). So we are all singing, the kids sometimes fall asleep after awhile and it works very well for us.

We also let the kids decide what goes into the "entertainment" bag. They carry this backpack of toys, games and books that they enjoy. When the kids were babies, we always brought 3 of their favourite toys in our bag. When we travelled across South East Asia for 7 months, the kids each had a small case of Lego that they can conveniently open, play, put back and carry wherever we went. When their minds are focused on a toy or distracted by a conversation, they are less likely to get upset or uncomfortably bored. 

Tablets and screens are always the LAST resort. They are used sparingly and really a treat in the most trying circumstances when we've exhausted all options. 

A trip to London for example takes 2 hours.

10 MINS: we'd be chatting about the plans for the day, how long it'll take, when are we stopping and the regular reminders about feeling carsick and needing the toilet.
20 MINS: we'd play their favourite music and sing along. Sometimes they fall asleep after that, sometimes they start playing with their toys.
30 MINS: Swapping between playing a card game, reading a book, playing with their little fiddle toy/other toys and annoying each other.
15 MINS: Then it is song request time again and sing along again.
20 MINS: Good chance they will take a short 15 minute to 30 minute nap at this point.

By this point we'd stop for a quick toilet break and maybe share some crisps or gummy bears before finishing up the last 15-25 minutes with a lot of reassurance (WE ARE REACHING SOON!), random conversations and spotting things out of the window. 

On plane rides, invest in kids headphones (with an airline adapter) please! Airlines these days don't always provide proper listening equipment that fit a kids head/ears. When we are on plane rides or waiting at a restaurant, we would always carry our own colouring sheets, pencils and play simple games like tic tac toe. Doodling is definitely way more fun than staring at the wall while waiting for food. 

Going on travels empty handed and unprepared is recipe for disaster. 

It is easy to squeeze as much into a day as possible to make your money's worth when planning a holiday. Dragging everyone along activity after activity is not going to be enjoyable. 

By the time the kids are 2 or 3, we got them involved in choosing what to do for the day. E.g. We are going to the Zoo! Show them the maps before hand and decide which animals they want to see. Giving them the agency and involving them in planning helps them look forward to it. It gives them an idea of what they can expect. It meets their needs. 

When you travel with babies and children, LESS IS MORE. 
We say that because babies and children have significantly higher needs. They need more sleep, they need to be fed and entertained more frequently than adults. These things take time and realistically, you can only cover so much without neglecting those needs. 

Our strategy is always doing ONE major thing a day. We travel slow.
The rest of the time can be spent relaxing at the hotel pool, running around the square or having a snack. ​

Last but not least, having the right equipment can make your life way easier on a trip. We cannot emphasise the importance of wearing appropriate shoes. Nobody is in a good mood when their feet are soaked and sore. If your holiday involves walking, wear comfy supportive shoes!

Apart from that, here are some things that we never go on a trip without. 

Travelling with babies equipment list:
1. A light foldable cabin approved pram
We hate checking it in, waiting for it and hoping it isn't lost)

2. Steriliser bags (Microwavable ones).
Put the dummies and bottles in the bags with a little water and pop it into the microwave. You have clean sterilised stuff in no time! 

3. Baby Carrier
Yes we bring BOTH the carrier and the pram. Sometimes the baby just wants skin contact so a carrier keeps your hands free! 

3. Baby bath soap, shampoo and toys
Bath time with some floating toys is always a really nice way to relax and reset the mood! 

4. Muslin squares
Get the larger ones. They can be used for so many purposes. You can use them to cover surfaces to lay your baby on (even as temporary cot bedsheet), shade the baby from the sun, keep the baby covered and warm, used as a swaddle and they are perfect for peekaboo too! 

5. Toys and snacks
 Something with buttons, something to chew on, something sensory, pick the child's favourites! 


Travelling with kids aged 4 to 10 equipment list:
1. The entertainment bag
A selection of their favourite books, games, toys, colouring sheets, soft toys and pencils

2. The snack bag
Crisps, protein bars, chocolate, gummies, fruits, biscuits and drinks.  

3. A torch light 
Seemingly useless but surprisingly useful to in keeping the kids occupied on walks in the evening. Very useful when things get lost in the car. 

4. A small camera
Another very useful tool to keep the kids entertained and on a mission when travelling. You'll be surprised at the perspective and things that turn up when going through their pictures at the end of the trip. 

Special mention: Pick up a stick/small tree branch on walks or hikes. Infinitely entertaining for the kids. I have no idea why 🤣. 

Have we missed anything out? What is your list of things that you'd never leave home without? Put them in the comments below and let's all share our experiences! 

If you are wondering why we have gone quiet on social media and why this blog hasn't moved for 4 months since our Scotland post (https://www.hirojack.com/blog/spectacular-scotland-stole-our-hearts#/), this post is for you. And for those who are looking to find out where this sunny stunning place is, this post is also for you! 

CHANGE

Change is the act or process through which something becomes different. Change is undeniably uncomfortable. In the past year, there were many moments I asked myself: "Am I too old for this?". It was the same question I asked myself when Debra suggested I furthered my studies. After all, I've been out of school for a whole decade. The last time I dealt with citations, academic journals and writing an extensive research, I was terribly miserable. Moreover, we've just spent 7 months travelling through South-East Asia on our Grand Tour at that point (www.hirojack.com/blog/category/the-grand-tour-2022) and life will be so different settling down again across the world.

We coped very well in the first part of my journey but the past 4 months were really difficult months. I spent most of it imprisoned to my chair in the study reading through countless research, tabulating numbers and trying to churn out a Masters dissertation while doing my best to be present for my family. Gwyneth would come and sit on my lap and ask why my word count hasn't moved much. Matt would lament about the severe lack of FC24 games between us. The whole family wanted their daddy and husband back. At times this change felt too difficult. 
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Out of the discomfort of change, I'm happy to report that we are all alive and well. The dissertation is complete and the process has made me immensely grateful for my family. I'm also very thankful for all those who prayed for me and check in on how we are doing. In Gwyneth's words, it's an extinction! (Go figure the grade! Clue: it rhymes).

I'm so glad we chose change. Our lives are so different now compared to early 2022. Change has opened our eyes to new perspectives and helped us make better choices. Change has taught us new skills, grew our confidence, healed our wounds and soothed our grief. We now speak a little different, eat different and hang out with a different bunch. But we cannot imagine life without these differences. Oh yes, I think I've answered my own question. No I'm not too old for this. 

​Now we are confronted with more changes. How should we order our lives from this point? What sort of work should I dedicate my time to? Should we restart Hiro & Jack Co. here in the UK? We don't have ready answers but we've learnt that embracing change is a good thing. 

It wasn't all work in the 4 months of silence, we did find time to visit Hafren Forest in Mid-Wales, Skegness on the East Coast of England and tried absorbing all the intelligence in Cambridge. You can find them posts on Facebook and Instagram! 

CORNWALL
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I won't blame you if you thought we've gone across the channel for a holiday at some sunny European seaside destination. We did consider that. You see, we are on British Summer Time and it is metrologically summer here in the UK. However, there were many moments we've considered turning the heating on at home. It is rather ridiculous when night time temperatures are low enough for grass frost in summer. Sick of the gloomy, rainy and cold, I studied the forecast and satellite simulations extensively looking for a sign of better things to come. Lo and behold! I realised that there was some sunshine to be had in Cornwall. That's how we ended up escaping the rain through our 636 mile (1023km) road trip.

​Our first stop was 2 hours away at Gloucester Services South Bound along the M5 motorway. It was voted the best rest stop in the country and I had to see what the fuss was about. As it turns out, it was the best rest stop I've ever been to in my entire life. It had spacious and clean toilets, as well as AMAZING food. The cherry on top of the cake is the massive farm shop that featured drool inducing local produce and yummy drinks (ahem*...cheese and gin...)

There is even a little pond outside complete with ducks and ducklings. The kids spent some time trying to talk to their duck friends but I'm pretty sure the ducks didn't understand. It was then time to continue our journey south towards Cornwall. 

Many dead bugs and hours later, we finally arrived in Cornwall and it was SUNNY! But you'll notice we are all still wrapped up like most people on the beach because the wind was still pretty chilly. The blue waters, waves crashing, adorable dogs and stunning landscapes made our evening one to remember! 

I have utmost respect for the people boating and learning to surf at the beach. That sea was far too cold for comfort. I think we wouldn't survive a minute in there.

After a long walk, we headed to rest for the night. Like the Scotland trip, Debra and I didn't get the best sleep. We are just so used to sleeping separately from the kids. I must remember to bring ear plugs the next time we share a hotel room with the kids. I need to scream this again...How do co-sleepers out there do it? HOW?

The next morning we woke up to a slightly warmer day and beautiful sunshine. A short drive down really narrow rural roads later, we arrived at the coast in Marazion where St Michael's Mount sat. The tidal island is home to a small group of houses and a massive castle on top. I looked at it, felt green with envy and wished I had a house like this. 

After an arduous climb up the mount to the castle, my envy very quickly dissipated 🤣 
No way I climbing a hill and ALOT of stairs just to get home. That aside, the architecture, history and views were most fascinating. You will be forgiven to think that this is just a tourist attraction but it isn't! The island is still inhabited by people and the castle is still a family home. I just love that there is so much effort to preserve history, culture and communities here. 

At low tide, people can walk across the causeway (visible to the right side of photo above) to the nearby town. When the tide is high, the island is only accessible by boat. We visited when the tide was high and when we left, the tide was just beginning to recede. That meant we had to catch a boat both ways. It's best to check the tide timings if you intend to experiencing walking across! 

We only managed to catch a glimpse of a portion of the causeway on the way back. The receding tide also revealed the seaweed. Am I weird for thinking they look absolutely delicious? I mean, they make Sushi and Miso soup with these!

From Marazion we drove 90 minutes to get to Tintagel to another incredibly gorgeous location. In my opinion, St Michael's Mount and Tintagel are the Crown Jewels of Cornwall. Am I missing something else in Cornwall that's even more impressive? 

CURRY PUFF

We arrived at the village of Tintagel past our lunch time and our stomachs were protesting. The beautiful town was littered with chip shops, ice-cream shops and other touristy shops. There were quite a few tourists and you'd expect a place like this to have really easy access. My advice is, put on proper shoes. I've learnt through all the travelling that remarkable views always come with a price. You either work for it physically or you pay for it. We chose to walk but for those who rather pay, they can pay for an expensive 2 minute long ride on the quintessentially British Land Rovers.

We got ourselves some Cornish pasties at the cafe and they were mouth-wateringly tasty! And they reminded us of the curry puffs we ate growing up in Singapore and Malaysia. Look at it, you can't blame me for whipping out my phone to look up history about this. Other than its size (the pasties are palm sized), they look almost identical. 

True enough, my research showed that the British brought their Cornish pasties when they ruled over Singapore/Malaya in the 1800s. The locals adapted the pasties and modified it to their taste. I a little lost for words when it comes to describing the feeling I had discovering the connection between the curry puffs and pasties. 

Here's a little more about these tasty treats:

Curry puffs: Deep fried and fillings are usually made of potatoes and/or boiled egg, sardines/chicken mixed with a spicy curry paste. Modern versions include creamy chicken etc. 

Cornish Pasties: Baked. Fillings are beef, potatoes, onions. The crimped sides were made thick so miners who work in filthy conditions can still eat without getting poisoned or sick. They hold the sides and eat the rest of the pastie before dumping the part they held with dirty fingers. 

After we've filled our tummies with delicious pasties (and crisps)...we made our way towards the coast line, bridge and ruins. The tiny little white building was where we had our pastie before we climbed to the point to take the photo below. You'll burn some calories to say the least....

If you are afraid of heights, it might get scary for you. Sheer drops in many places but the views make it all worthwhile. The clear skies we were blessed with made the blues of the sea come alive. This made the experience infinitely better!

We were absolutely knackered at this point. The markedly lower stamina is probably the result of being cooped up for too long through the winter and spring. As the kids fell into deep sleep in the backseat, I reflect on how grateful I am to be out and about again on my 4.5 hours drive back to the midlands. We are making plans for the rest of summer and fingers crossed, the weather will behave....

I spent the whole of summer mulling over visiting Scotland. First I waited for the hotel prices to fall because summer prices were crazy. Then I waited for the weather to settle but we have had 10 named storms since September. Living in the midlands also gives us very good access to most places in England and Wales. Naturally, we chose the 1-2 hour drives over an almost 6 hour one. But Scotland never left my mind. In fact, I continued looking up hotel prices and weather so often that Debra got a little annoyed.  Before we knew it, it was 2024. 

​Last week, we had a clear break in the weather when most of the UK was dry. I thought it was an amazing time to make the 676 mile (1088km) round trip. It was after lunch and I got a little distracted from writing. I scoured the internet for reasonably price family rooms in Scotland. This time the stars all aligned. 

KIDS!!! COME UPSTAIRS FOR A FAMILY MEETING! Our parliamentary vote went 3 against 1. The kids were totally on board with heading to Scotland. Within 30 minutes, a tiny luggage was packed and we got into François (our tiny car is lovingly named that because it is a French make haha!) for our super impromptu trip to Edinburgh, Scotland! 

ENGLAND ENGLAND ENGLAND......SCOTLANDDDDDD!!!!
We got into Scotland a little past bed time and immediately settled into our hotel room. To be very honest, the night didn't go as planned. You see, since the kids were born, we've NEVER shared a bed or room with them. In all our travels, we've always given them separate connecting rooms/rooms next door. Believe it or not, it was the first time in almost 10 years we shared the room with them. You combine that with the "first night syndrome" when you get used to sleeping in another bed, we barely got any sleep. I salute all the parents who co-sleep with their children. HOW DO YOU GET ANY SLEEP?!

The next morning, we enjoyed our own gluten free PB&J and each got a nice soak in the bath before heading into Edinburgh.

Edinburgh is absolutely GORGEOUS! It feels so much more intact than London. The old buildings seem to go on forever, seemingly unaffected by modernity. The charm of the cobbled stones and sand coloured stone buildings instantly stole our hearts. Not surprisingly, the person who voted against the trip had her heart stolen as well. 

I must add that I have nothing but respect for these men in kilts because it was absolutely freezing cold. If you ever visit Scotland dress EXTRA WARM. We had the same temperature in the Midlands but it felt WAY colder in Scotland. I think COLD is always spelt with bold letters in Scotland. Just to give you an idea how cold it always is....they simply leave ice cube deliveries outside. 

All warmed up, we were back admiring the stunning streets, buildings and views from the Royal Mile to Edinburgh Castle. 

It is quite expensive to visit the insides of the castle so we decided to spend our time at the National Museum of Scotland instead. Completely free of charge and so much to see you'll need an entire day to see everything. On our way to the Museum, we saw many souvenir shops along the Royal Mile. They are mostly chain tourist traps owned by the same people selling the same cheap factory made souvenirs. The prices were tempting but as craftspeople who ran a handcraft business, it didn't sit right with us. It is the local people, businesses and crafts people that need the most support. In fact, they are the custodians of the local culture and traditions. In the end, we shopped at the National Museum of Scotland's museum shop on items made by Scottish craftspeople (and wool from Scottish sheep). The profits also go towards the upkeep of the museum. 

Apart from the shop, we had a pretty fun time learning about magnificent animals, space, transport and fashion before calling it a day. That was as far as our feet could take us. 

We really didn't manage to do very much for this short trip. We are longing to return to Scotland again because there is just so much of the country that we've not seen. This was a very short and brief introduction but it was an impactful one. So impactful that on the way back south, Gwyn asked us if there were churches and ballet classes in Scotland. (her current priorities in life haha!) We told her there is and her immediate response was "WE CAN MOVE TO SCOTLAND THEN!" + a big smile on her face. 

P.S...dont' worry we are not considering that! We are fine where it's a little less rainy and cold in the Midlands. 

Hello 2024! This is our first blog post since our November 2023 post because of work submissions, plenty of storms, really short days and the Christmas season. Life just happens and that's how we ended up not hanging out for two years with the children's favourite aunt. The pandemic may be something we are eager to forget but so many of the social distancing rules literally tore families apart. Right after the restrictions were lifted, we travelled for 7 whole months and almost immediately moved to the UK. We were overjoyed that she wanted to visit and hang out with a weird bunch for 10 days haha!

As we share our story of reconnection and recharging, this 10 day itinerary could work for you too if you'd want to visit the UK with your family. It's a slow, mindful and relaxing trip around England and Wales. 
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We met in the grandest of settings in Hintze Hall of the Natural History Museum in London. I thought finding each other under the blue whale skeleton named "hope" was really apt for our reunion. We spent a couple of hours exploring the rooms filled with dinosaur skeletons and animal taxidermy. I don't think the children gave their aunt's ears any break with their constant chatter. It was kind of a foreshadowing of the next 10 days. Haha! 

After a mandatory shop at the museum gift shop, we took a relaxing stroll to Hyde Park's serpentine in the windy, cold and gloomy weather of central London. We braced a sudden drizzle and the noisy geese and made our way towards our yummy rewards. 

After clocking more than 10,000 steps we were famished and so after a quick bite at Leon (a local fast-food chain with gluten-free options), we managed to find a space for 5 in the really crowded Italian Bear Chocolate - SOHO (London W1F 9QL). Call in to make a reservation because they are always full. ​The Italian hot chocolate looked really lush but our in-house chocolate connoisseurs thought its gravy-like texture didn't satisfy their chocoholic tastes. The cake however, did satisfy. It was gooey and fudge-like when served warm. Don't leave it out in room temperature for too long, the chocolate hardens!

After our dinner and dessert, we had our second dessert! Ice creams are great in hot weather but I think they are even better in cold weather! That's exactly what we had at Bilmonte (London W1D 7LW). They serve really really rich chocolate ice-cream (that taste a little like brownie batter) and their famous double pistachio ice-cream! 

Long walks, yummy food, lots of desserts and a jet-lagged aunty with two chatter box kiddos wasn't too bad a way to start the trip! We left Sasha for the next 24 hours in London while we headed back to Leicestershire that night. 

London is a bustling city very much like most major cities in the world. So if you'd like a relaxing time, we highly recommend getting a hotel room at any of the Hilton, Marriott, Sofitel or Holiday Inns at Heathrow airport itself. The Elizabeth Line now connects the airport to central London (Paddington) in less than 30 mins. You get to be away from all the sirens and crowds + lower hotel prices! 

Suggested relaxing things to do in London:
1. Museums (Natural History, National Portrait Gallery)
2. Parks/Garden (Hyde Park, Kew Gardens)
3. Stroll along the Thames or take the River Bus to see the major landmarks
(Canary Wharf to Embankment is quite a good route. You'll even get to sail under the Tower Bridge and London Bridge etc...)
4. Watch a play!
5. Desserts and Cafe hop. 

After some 400 miles (640km) in 48 hours on the motorways, we were now reunited in Leicestershire where we live. That meant we were all a little knackered from all the travelling. I think the worst mistake we can ever make when going on vacation is planning one that is so exhausting you'll need another vacation after that. 

We enjoyed a couple of really slow days where we just enjoyed each other's company. The kids bombarded their aunt with card games, board games and video games. Debra hung out in the kitchen with her sister and we enjoyed the simple meals. We've grown to appreciate just recharging with no agenda, just meals and company. 
​

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​HIGHLY RECOMMENDED ACTIVITY WHEN TRAVELLING: Take a stroll in a large local supermarket. Our visits to Tesco (a local supermarket chain) turned out to be surprisingly therapeutic for all of us. I've not come up with an explanation for that...do you have one?

Once we felt recharged and ready, we crossed the border over into our favourite place in the world: Wales. Dolgellau, Gwynedd was our mandatory stop and TH Roberts (LL40 1BD) is our compulsory lunch spot. (Gluten free options available!)

After filling our tummies, we picked Cregennan Lakes in Gwynedd and Llandudno's Marine drive as our day's agenda. We spent the time soaking in the countryside, fresh air, strong winds and amazing sunshine. It was a lot quieter when we were out in nature. I guess we can all agree, with views like that, words fail us. 

The day definitely felt like it was too short. It wasn't long before we watched the sunset and revelled in some crazy dance music on our ride home. ​

The countryside is like a balm to the soul. We always recommend visiting Wales because it is just so incredibly gorgeous. We've met the warmest, kindest and most helpful people in Wales. I think the perspective and calm of being around our natural environment helps make us better people. What better place to be when taking a break from the hustle?

We spent a couple more days having early nights when we felt tired and woke up later when we wanted. The kids started their mornings with games and chats in bed with their aunt. The grownups had evenings watching our favourite shows (and some Rick Astley, haha!) while enjoying a glass of wine. 

We also took time to explore our shared interests in space at the National Space Centre in Leicester and ancient history at Oxford's Ashmolean Museum. It was refreshing to be away from work, be with the people you care about and just enjoy each other. 

We spent the last bits of the 10 days in the Cotswolds exploring the treasures within the villages. Stow-on-the-wold's candy store and other small local produce shops were really interesting. Feast your eyes on beautiful architecture and then enjoy all the amazing cheese, wines and candies you'll find in the shops! What we all really enjoyed was The Old Bakery Tea Room (GL54 1BN). They serve the most delicious gluten-free scones and meals. It must have been years since we've had scones that didn't ruin our guts. The cream and jam (or jam and cream) just made our smiles wider. 

Just like how a pot of tea always finishes too quickly, the 10 days flew by. We found ourselves at Heathrow again saying our goodbyes this time but our hearts and tummies have been very very full. We'll meet again. 

More than 11 months have gone by since we moved to the UK. Never in my wildest dream would I imagine myself saying that it is the best year of our lives. There's never a day that goes by that we don't say "this is way better than XYZ..."

But we hate it....we really do. Here are 8 reasons why...

#1 Schooling 
No syllabus to follow, no mandatory exams to take, no invasive home visits to host, no investigative file of evidence to submit to a government officer, no state enforced "national values" to indoctrinate, none of it!? Don't get us wrong, we still do ensure our children match up with their British AND Singaporean peers academically. We are still working towards their GCSEs and A Levels so they will be able to go to University or other paths.
​
We hate it that we have tasted the freedom from these things homeschooling our children here in the UK. We hate it so much because we never want to go back to pleading for permission to school OUR children by ourselves and in the way we desire. 

#2 Roaming
We hate it that we have now tasted the freedom of living in a land we will take a life time to finish exploring. If you are willing to take a hike or a drive, you'll be spoilt for choice. We hate to think that the simple pleasure of seeing no people or houses in sight for miles and miles can disappear just like that. 

#3 Community
We hate it that we have experienced a community that genuinely cares. We hate it that we have seen people living how they wish, be who they want to be and be taken care of unconditionally. We hate it that we didn't have to worry about being who we really are for the entire year. Now there is a reference for comparison. 

​#4 Values

We hate it that we have now lived in a society where it isn't all about the money all the time. Yes, people still do want to get rich, own big houses and cars they collectively still believe in each other's welfare. We hate it that we didn't have to fear and worry in a time of crisis because of the values that the whole society pays for to maintain. Now we know what I means to be rooted, invested and connected. 

​#6 Seasons
4 seasons have come and gone. We hate it because we have experienced so much it is now impossible to go back to tropical monotony all year round. We have grown to love the long days of summer and great long days of adventures. We have also grown to appreciate when nature springs to life and shuts down. We have learnt to rest and appreciate the little sunshine we get on the short days. We down the ice cold drinks in summer and hot cuppa when it's colder. We can now appreciate an ice-cream in winter because it doesn't melt. 

We ended off summer with a massive post (A stupendous summer) in August! Summer was quite an experience and turned out so much better than we've expected. If you haven't read it, do click on the red link! 

Septembers have always been special. Growing up, half my family's birthdays were in September. After my first stint in the UK, September took on even more meaning as autumn became my favourite season of all. It isn't hard to imagine why isn't it? Autumnal colours, cool weather and especially the one extra hour of sleep you get when British Summer Time (Daylight savings) ends in October....

After Matt and Gwyn were born, we started having 4 birthday cakes in a month.That brought all of us a lot of joy. When dad passed in 2021, we became even more acutely aware of our mortality which makes birthdays even more important. We don't know when we'll blow out our last candle. We've therefore made it a point to let our children know that we are celebrating their lives, and our lives together. It really isn't about how fancy the gifts or celebrations are, it is about the people we have to love and hold. 

For those who are wondering if they do share the same birthday, they don't! Their birthdays are less than a week apart so for the past many years we've been letting Gwyn blow out her candle early on Matt's birthday. It has become a sort of tradition that they each get their special day out on the actual day (and get to enjoy their siblings special day out too). It is like having two birthdays.

We did a little poll on Instagram and you guys responded...

Turns out we've managed to do both a special day and a double celebration! 

LONDON
Before we could enjoy London, we had to do our voting duties at the polls in London at the Singapore Embassy. That meant a 2 hour drive down south and a quick Underground ride to central London. 

Voting was done very quickly and we were off for a quick lunch at Shake Shack. It turned out to be really ordinary! I think that's because Debra makes way more awesome burgers at home these days. I haven't got a single picture of the meal because it was that forgettable. 

We headed to a more memorable Borough Market where we experienced a whole host of smells and sights. It wasn't good planning on my part that we visited the place on a full tummy right after lunch. We didn't buy any of the food but they looked pretty amazing! There was a paella stall that had security managing its snaking queue. It was surely the most popular thing in the market. If you love your cheese, you'll find that there's no short supply of cheese shops there. 

Apart from the cooked food (and raw oysters), you can also get fresh produce around the market. You can get the regular vegetables, fruits and  meat to whip up a tasty meal here. You'll also find monstrous looking fish and even wood pigeons at the butcher. We were a little shocked because we have some wood pigeon friends around our neighbourhood that hang around in the trees...

After the children had a little dance to the music of the buskers, we walked across the London bridge that hasn't fallen down to catch the Underground towards Leadenhall Market. 

Matt wanted to see the spots that one of the Harry Potter movie was filmed. We did manage to watch a Youtube video at the market to identify the spots. Leadenhall is a little more upmarket and consists of mainly eateries and pubs. We were a little disappointed because there wasn't much to see or experience around here. Beautiful architecture aside, I think it would be more suitable about 10 years from now when I can share a pint with my kids. 

We were back on the underground and headed towards Mina Lima: the design studio behind the graphic props of the Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts films, founded by Miraphora Mina and Eduardo Lima.

If you are a potter fan, this place is a must visit! It is a more sophisticated version of the platform 9 3/4 shop at Kings Cross Station. They sell more designs and art related to the film instead of movie merchandise. You'll find very beautiful prints, notebooks, frames, books and posters here. I think most fans of the potter films will find the shop decor an attraction in itself. 

We must have done 10,000 steps by this point and were a little wet from the downpour but it was the time the kids were most looking forward to. It was time to buy their birthday gift from Nai Nai! I told their grandma not to send a gift over because it would be a waste of money on the freight. We would buy it on her behalf instead. 

We first headed to Hamleys but the kids couldn't decide on what they wanted. They were quite focused on Lego but some Lego sets at Hamleys were priced £10 more than the Lego store itself. We decided to visit a Waterstones (Book shop) but they couldn't find books that they really wanted. As the evening drew near,  it was Leicester Square's Lego store that fit the bill for the gift. I think the most wholesome thing that happens every time we head to a toy shop is that the kids never want to buy anything unless they really loved it. Choices are not made based on the price tag or size of the box. It is one of those things that warms the cockles of my heart. 

Dinner was supposed to be a spectacular meal at a Malaysian restaurant serving up satay, nasi lemak and yummy fried rice but they were booked out for the night. We were sorely disappointed and settled for McDonald's because we were just too tired to keep looking. 

Things didn't go exactly to plan and our plans didn't really turn out the way we expected it to be but I was a proud dad of two kids under 10 who conquered 18,291 steps, 11.8km, 32 floors and 6 Underground lines (Elizabeth, Bakerloo, Central, District, Piccadilly & Jubilee) in an afternoon! The unintended effect was that all of us slept soundly once we go back home to the midlands that evening! 

​MANCHESTER/AUTUMN

We promised Gwyn that she could visit the zoo to hug the Graffalo and see the penguins on her birthday. Tickets were booked on our annual pass but the British weather had other ideas. A heat wave descended on the UK and temperatures shot up. The sun was relentless and we decided to postpone the zoo trip to avoid getting heat exhaustion/burnt. I hunted down for a replacement activity somewhere air-conditioned to escape the heat. Our cereal packet promotion finally led us to this attraction in an ornate mall in Manchester.

With two free tickets, Legoland experience centre in Manchester was more affordable and worth the 2 hour drive up north. It is effectively a Lego themed soft-play with two kiddy rides and a 4D show. The kids are huge fans of Lego and they flood my telly's Youtube history with Lego related content. Their mornings always start with building all sorts of contraptions and worlds with Lego. No surprise they really enjoyed this one! 

With some time to spare after the Legoland experience (very weirdly closes at 230pm), we knew exactly where we wanted to be that afternoon. Matt and I are massive United fans and we decided to take a trip to our home stadium. It was too late to book a tour and so we did our own mini tour around the stadium and browsed the store. The walk wasn't too bad because most of the way was sheltered under the stadium itself. 

It is not often that kids are quiet. But they became uncharacteristically quiet and attentive as they read the boards detailing the history of the Munich air disaster that killed 8 Manchester United players and 15 other passengers on board. I'm sure it moved them. It gets me every time when I read the part about the team being rebuilt and winning the European Cup 10 years after the crash decimated almost the entire team. I hope the kids are as inspired as I am to believe in coming back stronger, fighting against the odds and doing the impossible. 

Now onto my favourite season: autumn!

We have had 3 very very different months this summer in terms of weather. June was the hottest June on record and July was 10th wettest on record. We saw storm Antoni and Betty along with a mix of rain as well as sunshine. What we've felt constantly however is a period of healing. A healing of body, mind and soul as we mindfully savour our adventures. 

If you haven't been able to follow our journeys, here's a quick list and some links you can visit:

JUNE
Post: Summer Bumper Post: We surrender
-Brighton Pier
-North Wales (South Stack lighthouse)
-North Wales (Great Orme)
-London Leicester Square

Post: Reduced to tears
-North Wales (Gwynedd - Dolgellau)
-North Wales (Gwynedd - Cregennan Lakes)

JULY
July was basically a very restful month because of the constant rain. We took the opportunity to continue school since the kids usually take a break in September when we celebrate their birthdays. We followed the Wimbledon, watched a lot of Bluey, attended Gwyn's first ballet concert and listened to Matt's live radio show weekly. It was apparently also loose teeth season and I've had to pluck two really loose ones in a day....

The wet weather slowed down our schedules and helped us become more mindful and present. We need to realise how special these ordinary days are. The seemingly ordinary days to us are our children's memory of their childhood. We take nothing for granted because the days may seem long but the years fly by really really quickly.

I think the quiet moments also made us appreciate the community around us a lot more. We've learnt to slow down and take our time to see people as people. We're incredibly grateful that people take time to make us feel at home and that we belong to the community. Little things like a light-hearted chat after service, picnics, tea time and lunches in a backyard feel really wholesome! 

Despite the rain, we did manage a farm shop visit in Market Harborough, a drive on the Gospel Pass (highest road pass in Wales), a stroll on a sandflat and Lavender farm in Norfolk. We've had to dodge some showers and drive in really wet conditions but it was all worthwhile. I've grown to love trips that subtly stimulate your senses and help form amazing memories. You hear the buzzing of the bees, smell the fragrance of the lavender, see the wild horses and feel the wind in your hair.

It is so easy to lose our ability to feel deeply and appreciate a moment. Doom scrolling and switching constantly from video to video have programmed our brains to be constantly demanding the next. We want entertainment that is stimulating and quick. We are never really in the moment nor have the time to appreciate what we are looking at. I cannot recommend being in the countryside more. After capturing the shots we need, we make an effort to put our devices away to stare, smell and feel. We come back refreshed. Every single time!

Healing also came in the form of food. Having to pay more than £10 for a loaf of Gluten-free bread back in Singapore is never far from our minds when we visit the supermarket and farm shops. For so many years, it was exceptionally difficult to listen to our bodies and eat food that doesn't ruin our guts and trigger allergy symptoms. It isn't just the affordability that we are grateful for, it is the labelling and ease of access that makes it much easier. 

AUGUST

August has been pretty packed compared to July. We are well aware that that we won't be getting as much daylight. At the end of June, the sun rose at 4.41am and set at 9.32pm. Days were long and we barely used our car's headlights in the height of summer. But by the end of August,  we will be losing as much as 3 hours and 40 minutes of daylight. The seasons really teach you to seize the moment. It is either now or next summer.

We wanted to maximise our time and resources and so we tried as much as possible to visit the countryside and attractions that don't require an entrance fee. We've also opted not to stay overnight for all of our trips. Hotels can cost between £60 to £100 a night for a "budget option". With two storms in a month, we gave up toying with the idea of camping.  

We wake up early and get on the road early from our home, spend the whole day at a place and leave by early evening to make it back in time for the kids' bedtime. It is a lot of miles but we managed to to visit London, Bristol, Eastbourne, Twycross, Coalville and Mam Tor in the Peak District. We've got to adapt to make these travels possible and it made us many core memories! 

-London
To be really honest, we didn't manage to enjoy the British Museum properly. The place was jam packed with tourists and school groups. If you don't like queues and crowds, don't come to London in August. Wait until the 2nd week of September when school holidays are over! It is also generally cooler by then and you won't have to be cooked alive in the older Underground lines.

We got a glimpse of the mummies that the kids have been learning about in their world history curriculum. It was an eerie but intriguing sight. Although I must admit looking at dead people was a rather peculiar choice for our 11th marriage anniversary...

​-Twycross Zoo, Leicestershire
This was the only significant ticketed attraction we paid for this summer. Paying for the day ticket entitled us to a year pass. This was a good investment because the kids never get sick of going to a zoo and we live in the same county as the zoo! Graffalo land (a walk through experience) was also included. What I liked the most about the zoo is that children get to interact with people instead of screens. They get an activity sheet that guides them to explore the zoo and look for stations where a staff member will ask questions and share interesting facts with them. It makes the Zoo experience less of a passive one. 

-Cattows Farm, Coalville
Gwyn decided she wanted to wear her bright pink dress that morning for no apparent reason. It was the dress her late-grandpa bought for her just 3 months before he passed on. It was a surprise because we didn't tell her our plans that day and we didn't know she could finally fit the dress. The blazing hot sun and clear blue skies made it a perfect day to roam the sunflower fields and take photographs that pop! 

-Bristol International Balloon Fiesta
I was just unwinding at the end of the day and looking at my socials before I saw an amazing video of hot air balloons glowing in the night sky. The next moment I was all over google maps looking for the best way to get to Bristol. The next day, we left home at 4pm after Matt's radio show and headed straight for Bristol. The weather was very very unpredictable. When we arrived and parked, it started POURING. Fortunately all of us came prepared with waterproofs and boots on. As with any large scale event with rain pouring down on the fields, it was a mud fest. Somehow the clear brolly became a really fascinating toy for the kids and they thoroughly enjoyed huddling under it. We did get a few breaks between downpours to enjoy some fish/nuggets and chips before the night glow. 

It was an amazing experience being in a crowd on a huge field singing to famous tunes in the rain. Keep calm and carry on indeed. We've learnt that if you are determined to have fun, not even the rain can stop you. The balloons were slowly inflated and started glowing to the rhythm of the music in the night sky. It was magic. 

This boy loved it so much he had tears in his eyes. He told me he wanted to do Glastonbury next year because he loved being at a festival. I knew it was a core memory created there. We can't really put a price tag on these things in life can we?

By the time we got home it was midnight and I spent the next two hours washing muddy boots and wiping down our picnic mat and waterproofs. It was exhausting but it was worth every ounce of energy. I'll do it all over again!  

-Seven Sisters, Eastbourne 
This was another re-visit of a spot we visited 10 years ago. It was winter and we didn't have enough daylight to properly explore the area. It looked absolutely stunning in the summer sun. 

This was one of the final spots we visited before leaving the country. I think we were seriously dreading that our holiday/honeymoon was coming to an end and we had a meeting to attend hours after our flight back. I don't think we could have ever imagined that we would be back here with two kids of our own. ​

After viewing the seven sisters cliff from this side, we took a short drive to the cliffs itself. The sheer height and drop is both terrifying and fascinating. Thanks to modern engineering, there was a strong and stable stairway that took us down to the pebble beach at the bottom of the cliffs. We laid our picnic mat and enjoyed the light sea breeze and comfortably warm sunshine. 

I know many people say that a beach without sand isn't a real beach but I absolutely adore pebble beaches. No cleaning up necessary with pebbles. In fact, they are a source of entertainment if you enjoy stacking pebbles! That was what the kids and I did while Debra did her painting on the beach. It wasn't just about being at a stunning location that made this trip really great. It was also being able to see her do what she loves. 

As the sun began to hover around the horizon over the English Channel, we soaked in the views on the white cliffs knowing it will be the last time we are seeing it this summer. We'll meet again. 

It felt so special and exciting to be on that tiny path along the mountain ridge. There was so much to see on either side. I took a couple wrong turns looking at a tiny topographic map on my phone trying to figure out which of the tiny paths to take. We did manage to eventually find the loop that took us down on the side of the mountain through the vegetation down into the valley. We met some sheep, birds and very prickly plants before dodging landslides and mud. That was a highlight for all of us! The abundance of ferns made the little ones think they were time-travelling. They were looking out for prehistoric creatures and naming dinosaurs I have absolutely no idea existed.

We stopped near the end of our hike at a bench overlooking the valley and enjoyed some snacks and PB&J sandwiches. Debra managed to do a quick paint where the kids ran around time-travelling again. 

I think this concludes any major adventure for the summer of 2023. 
I won't miss cleaning a million dead bugs off the car, hearing alarming cries for help to capture bugs at home or having difficulty sleeping because of the warm muggy nights. I'll surely miss the holidays, festivals, long days and lush greenery. 

Feeling like a failure is a crushing feeling that many are familiar with.

"Look at so-and-so, they have achieved XYZ, what have you achieved?"
"This thing you are doing? You'll never amount to anything"
"Everyone has done this, why can't you?"
"Wish you could be like your sibling..."
"You MUST do this, I'll be really disappointed if you are the only one in the family that don't achieve this!" 
"I will only buy you this toy/thing if you achieve THIS"

We've probably heard these things in different forms at some point of our lives. These are made of bone crushing and spirit breaking stuff. They have the power put us on course towards the excruciating abyss of a lifetime of self-pity and depression. And yet, such thoughts are found in the very heads that it traumatised. So many of us find ourselves continuing the cycle of hurt that we so detest. 

Background
We've been homeschooling for almost 8 years. It has been a highly rewarding AND reflective journey. Although it wasn't a decision taken lightly, many questioned and doubted our choice. You see, Debra and I grew up in an immensely stressful education system and culture. It is a land where success and one's value is very narrowly defined. It is a system where many children wake up from 530am and only stop school related activities at 10pm before bed time. It is a country of just over half a million school going kids (7 to 16) but they generate S$1.68 billion (£1 billion/USD1.25 billion) annually for the private tuition industry. Growing number of parents go as far as purchasing multi-million dollar properties to secure places in "better schools" to ensure success for their children. The Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) rankings is almost validation of the pressure put on children. Singapore is ranked second in the world for reading literacy, mathematics, and science in 2018. Despite the stellar results, there is a shocking amount of people that grow up feeling like a failure. This extreme fear of not measuring up and not achieving enough is encapsulated in a word so famous that the Oxford dictionary incorporated it: KIASU.

One of our greatest motivation for homeschooling our children is our desire to break this cycle of trauma. We saw and experienced the pain as students and former teachers in the public education system. We didn’t want to raise unhappy children that loathed learning, loathed life and loathed themselves. 

These are perhaps the 3 most salient lessons I've learnt from 8 years of teaching my own children and in that process unlearning what I've been told. 

1. It is okay to fail.

Not achieving success is a highly uncomfortable experience. Nobody likes to fail. This gives us even more reasons to respond kindly when someone experiences failure. If we were to break the cycle of trauma, we have to learn to accept that failures are experienced. Failure is an experience that DOES NOT define us.


2. Don't compare, compare. 

The problem is not comparison. The problem lies in the ranking and judging that follows comparison. It is intellectual indolence to define people simply by looking at their wealth, status or grades. If human life is precious, we must surely agree that its worth cannot be defined by what that life has achieved or not.

It is inevitable that parents compare their children with their siblings or other children. We compare our children too. Comparison should help you see how unique your child is. Comparison should help you understand them as an individual. Comparison should help us discover their strengths and weaknesses and inform us of the best way to facilitate learning.

Comparison is about understanding. Comparison is not for ranking or judgement. 


3. Love unconditionally

I hope I'll always make my children feel loved simply because I love them. I don't want them to ever feel like they need to please me with something before they are loved. It is manipulative and narcissistic to give gifts, love and affection only when your loved one can bring a success in exchange. We've seen many instances in our culture where one's worth is based on how much "honour" and "face" value you can bring to your family/parents/loved one. One should never have to experience "love" that is dependent on their achievements. 

Love is not self-seeking. 



Nobody is a failure just because they experience failure. No one should be made to feel like a failure and have their worth defined by comparison. No one should have to feel like they are a failure that don't deserve love because they did not achieve something. ​

10 years ago, Vincent and Debra were on their honeymoon. Vincent was also on a quest to show Debra the home of his heart, mind and soul.  He decided that visiting a sleepy Welsh town called Dolgellau was a great idea. He didn't even know how to pronounce the name correctly. It was a rather peculiar plan for a honeymoon considering it was in the middle of a cold dark and windy winter. There was nothing to do and only a really expensive Chinese take-out was open by 4pm. If you consider all these factors and Debra's deep disdain of the wind, Dolgellau is a poor choice. 

To make up for that, Vincent took Debra on a drive down a path with many sheep and....field gates that she had to open by exiting the comforts of the car's warm heated seats. I bet she wasn't too impressed. As the windy path got really narrow and steep, Vincent fiddled with the manual gears of his rented Citroen wishing it was an automatic. At this point it could have really just ended with them not finding anything worth looking at and grumbling their way back to the hotel. It could have been one of those wasted trips that they would put behind them...

What they chanced upon at the end of the path was Cregennan Lakes. It was magical. In an instance, both Vincent and Debra fell deeply in love with the land. Apart from the wind and drizzle that cut short that magical moment, work was filling up their emails and it was time to head back to their daily grind on the equator. Ready at the gate for their 13.5 hour flight back, they were surprised that British Airways had upgraded them to business class. The bigger surprise was they were now three instead of two. 

The years that follow were hectic. Debra and Vincent pushed themselves far beyond what most people would consider sane. They built a family and a business but a deep subconscious yearning for that place they can feel at home remained. Vincent would always tell Debra, "I miss home". But that didn't make sense. He had a loving home. When Vincent's dad suddenly went home to be with the Lord, nothing made sense anymore. What is home? 

They embarked on a grand tour that would help them learn more about themselves, their children and what they were going to do with their lives...

7 months of travel later, they published a book, and this was one of the pages. They continued to dream of the land they would call home.

"It's been 10 years, just give up already..."
"Know when it is time to give up!"

These voices got louder and louder and it became immensely difficult to dream again. 

But here is Vincent, Debra, Matthias and Gwyneth in Dolgellau. It took 10 years but here they are.

Eateries, shops and the town felt alive. 4 of them felt alive! Especially with the delicious cheese cakes and full English that filled their tummies. 

Just like the previous time, Vincent wrangled a little Citroen up the really steep hills and tiny country roads. And as the lakes came into view, he played the Welsh hymn that has been playing all week at home. As Calon Lân ​played on the car stereo, there was silence in the car...

English translation:

I don't ask for a luxurious life,
the world's gold or its fine pearls,
I ask for a happy heart,
an honest heart, a pure heart.

A pure heart full of goodness
Is fairer than the pretty lily,
None but a pure heart can sing,
Sing in the day and sing in the night.

If I wished for worldly wealth,
It would swiftly go to seed;
The riches of a virtuous, pure heart
Will bear eternal profit.

Evening and morning, my wish
Rising to heaven on the wing of song
For God, for the sake of my Saviour,
To give me a pure heart.

As Vincent parked the car in the exact spot he parked 10 years ago, nobody moved. The stillness and silence in the car was in fact a guise to the fact that Debra and Vincent were both reduced to tears looking out of the window. The stillness did not reflect the immeasurable deluge of emotions. Both of them were suddenly and unexpectedly hit with the feeling of homecoming at that moment. Without saying a word to each other, they both felt the same incredible emotions. It took a really long time, but it finally felt right and complete. 

Having explored the place for themselves, the kids surprised their parents by asking them to take them there every day. 

"It takes a long time to drive here you know..."
"You can look for a house and we can stay here!"

They have all found their happy place. May this be their happily ever after...

An extraordinary afternoon later, they travelled down to the estuary that Vincent chanced upon while exploring the area via Google street view. The place looked strangely familiar. 

They drank in remembrance of their beloved dad and grandad.

This is our story of homecoming.
What's yours?