We all have a favourite dish, shoe, t-shirt, friend and child. It is inevitable that we show preference toward a particular child among our children. To say that you don't have a favourite would be a lie! "Why is that so?" you may ask.
You see, humans have very diverse behavioural patterns. We speak differently, respond differently and each have different preferences. We show preference for everything down to the colour of our socks. When we are emotionally involved in a relationship with another human being, we form complex emotions around the experiences we accumulate.
It is impossible for us to form identical emotions and experiences with different people.
Every child is different and unique. We therefore form very diverse experiences with our children. It is only human and logical to prefer one over another because you get along better. Although showing preference may be a normal human behaviour, we can practice these 3 behaviours to avoid harming our children.
Behaviour #1 (You shall not neglect the others despite having a favourite child)
There must be a conscious effort to devote equal time, love and effort towards all the children. Gwyneth is daddy's girl and Matthias is mummy's boy but that doesn't mean we neglect the other child. You can say I prefer Gwyneth better because we get along easier. Debra gets along with Matthias better without clashing because their characters compliment each other. We are however very conscious about devoting as much time to reading to both children, playing with both children and showing loving affection to both of them. Having a favourite or a preference does not mean you love one less than the other. You can prefer one child over the other but you should NEVER neglect the others.
Behaviour #2 (Ensure you don't show open bias)
Children lose all respect when parents show open bias toward a particular child. We must emphasise that it is normal to have a favourite but it is wrong to be openly biased, unfair or discriminatory. When a child behaves badly, you apply the same rules to all your children. You don't give a child more resources because he/she is your favourite. Such bias and unfairness will breed bitterness and strife among your children. A good example to illustrate this point would choosing a partner to sit with on a bus ride. You will have a favourite child to sit with. It becomes toxic when you reject sitting with all but your favourite child.
Behaviour #3 (Emphasise teamwork and reflection)
To err is human. We will find ourselves struggling at times or giving the impression of unfairness/favouritism among our children. The best behaviour to adopt would be to be open with your children and reflect together as a team. Admit your mistakes and think about how your actions may have affected the children. After all, a family unit works together to make family work. When one part of a body is hurt, the whole body suffers. When something surfaces, always work on an outcome that restores love and unity.
You will have a favourite child but you can devote yourself
Read many other interesting and useful posts on parenting HERE!
Topics include: Screen time, Feed your child McDonald's, developing talents and the best head-start for your child.
London is a wonderful place to fall in love. There is always something you can do as a couple or family. If you are looking for a list of amazing things to do together, do check out our first part that covers some of the most romantic and fun activities/locations.
Couples and family that eat together, travel together and make memories together will stay together! In this post, we talk about 3 of the most enchanting experiences you can have together as couple or family.
#1 Most enchanting experience - Watch a Musical together!
Check out London's West End for some of the longest running musicals in the most beautiful London's enchanting Mamma Mia, The Lion King and Phantom of the Opera. You can watch a musical every single night you spend in London as long as you have the budget and plan your ticket bookings before hand. If you can, book online before hand from well-reviewed sources. Try not to entertain the street touts who sell you tickets (usually at exorbitant prices). Get to the Theatre early and enjoy the atmosphere of the beautiful buildings. The experience of watching a live play is most magical and emotional!
#2 Most enchanting experience - Spend a relaxing day at Hyde Park!
I would rank Hyde Park among the BEST parks in the world. You would think, "Hey! you guys have Gardens by the Bay in Singapore don't you?". Yes we do. The problem is, you cannot walk for 15 minutes without soaking your shirt with perspiration in the year-round tropical heat/humidity. I hear Brits complaining about how miserable their weather is all the time while studying in Loughborough. I do admit my ears do hurt when it gets bitterly cold but I love it that you don't need to perspire or feel miserably sticky most times of the year. Okay I need to stop rambling about the weather (a habit I've picked up in the UK!)
Walk along The Serpentine (Lake) and watch the swans, ducks and geese! If you are visiting between March to October, you can get into a paddle boat and soak in the views from the calm waters. Find a shady spot and have a picnic! The juxtaposition of a green, peaceful and quiet place right in the middle of busy London makes it such an enchanting experience.
Debra and I LOVE this park to bits. We basically just sat on a park bench together, stared into the stunning open space and lost track of time.
#3 Most enchanting experience - Spend a day at Hyde Park Winter Wonderland
Debra and I have such fond memories of enjoying this amazing winter/Christmas spectacle together. You can enjoy rides, games and amazing food at this fair! Best part: FREE ENTRY!
When we brought Matthias to Winter Wonderland in Singapore last December, we showed him our London photos and wanted to give him an idea of what we were visiting. Sadly, he was utterly disappointed and called it 'Winter RuinLand'. The scale of the London Winter Wonderland is just humongous. You get full scale roller coaster rides and countless little huts and family friendly rides
We enjoyed some amazing hot chips, sausages and mulled wine while strolling along in the winter cold. It was a comforting feeling that is beyond description. It may be a little difficult to stay away from all the very attractive candies!
It is certainly somewhere a couple or family can do together and make wonderful memories together. The weather may be cold but the festivities and being with your loved ones warms the heart and soul.
Coming soon: Posts on our trip to Nottingham,Loughborough Manchester, Cambridge and Wales!
Enjoyed this post?You can read about our New Zealand adventures HERE!
The great lure of London took us 10,841km (6736 miles) across the globe from Singapore. It is a trip that we often look back (with a little heart ache) with the hope of returning soon. London is a beautiful city. I would even argue that London is a city of love. (Paris is wonderful but just not my cup of tea).
I became acquainted with London while studying at Loughborough University. Although I thoroughly enjoyed the quietness of a small town, a city boy with itchy feet couldn't sit by the fire all through the long, wet and cold winters in England. That resulted in dozens of train trips down to London. This time however, we were visiting London the first time together as a married couple.
Singapore is well connected to London and flight prices are pretty competitive. You can get Sale tickets for as low as S$800++ for a 13.5hr flight.
Flights from SIN to LHR worth considering:
Direct flights: Singapore Airlines, British Airways, Qantas
1 stopover: Emirates, Qatar, Malaysia Airlines
Most of the time, I fly Qantas (QF) and British airways (BA) because I avoid connecting flights as much as I can. You can get economy tickets on QF and BA at between S$1390++ and S$1800++ depending on when you book the tickets. Singapore Airlines (SQ) START at S$2100++. I don't think the better service from Singapore Airlines justify paying an average of S$500 more. Business class is at least $3000 more on SQ compared to BA.
We caught the British Airways 11pm flight which is in my opinion the best timing to get over jet lag. You board the plane, have your dinner, watch a movie, sip your wine, wake up and its morning in London!
Vincent & Debra Kwan, Founders of Hiro & Jack and stay-at-home parents with the odd life.