Feeling like a failure is a crushing feeling that many are familiar with.

"Look at so-and-so, they have achieved XYZ, what have you achieved?"
"This thing you are doing? You'll never amount to anything"
"Everyone has done this, why can't you?"
"Wish you could be like your sibling..."
"You MUST do this, I'll be really disappointed if you are the only one in the family that don't achieve this!" 
"I will only buy you this toy/thing if you achieve THIS"

We've probably heard these things in different forms at some point of our lives. These are made of bone crushing and spirit breaking stuff. They have the power put us on course towards the excruciating abyss of a lifetime of self-pity and depression. And yet, such thoughts are found in the very heads that it traumatised. So many of us find ourselves continuing the cycle of hurt that we so detest. 

Background
We've been homeschooling for almost 8 years. It has been a highly rewarding AND reflective journey. Although it wasn't a decision taken lightly, many questioned and doubted our choice. You see, Debra and I grew up in an immensely stressful education system and culture. It is a land where success and one's value is very narrowly defined. It is a system where many children wake up from 530am and only stop school related activities at 10pm before bed time. It is a country of just over half a million school going kids (7 to 16) but they generate S$1.68 billion (£1 billion/USD1.25 billion) annually for the private tuition industry. Growing number of parents go as far as purchasing multi-million dollar properties to secure places in "better schools" to ensure success for their children. The Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) rankings is almost validation of the pressure put on children. Singapore is ranked second in the world for reading literacy, mathematics, and science in 2018. Despite the stellar results, there is a shocking amount of people that grow up feeling like a failure. This extreme fear of not measuring up and not achieving enough is encapsulated in a word so famous that the Oxford dictionary incorporated it: KIASU.

One of our greatest motivation for homeschooling our children is our desire to break this cycle of trauma. We saw and experienced the pain as students and former teachers in the public education system. We didn’t want to raise unhappy children that loathed learning, loathed life and loathed themselves. 

These are perhaps the 3 most salient lessons I've learnt from 8 years of teaching my own children and in that process unlearning what I've been told. 

1. It is okay to fail.

Not achieving success is a highly uncomfortable experience. Nobody likes to fail. This gives us even more reasons to respond kindly when someone experiences failure. If we were to break the cycle of trauma, we have to learn to accept that failures are experienced. Failure is an experience that DOES NOT define us.


2. Don't compare, compare. 

The problem is not comparison. The problem lies in the ranking and judging that follows comparison. It is intellectual indolence to define people simply by looking at their wealth, status or grades. If human life is precious, we must surely agree that its worth cannot be defined by what that life has achieved or not.

It is inevitable that parents compare their children with their siblings or other children. We compare our children too. Comparison should help you see how unique your child is. Comparison should help you understand them as an individual. Comparison should help us discover their strengths and weaknesses and inform us of the best way to facilitate learning.

Comparison is about understanding. Comparison is not for ranking or judgement. 


3. Love unconditionally

I hope I'll always make my children feel loved simply because I love them. I don't want them to ever feel like they need to please me with something before they are loved. It is manipulative and narcissistic to give gifts, love and affection only when your loved one can bring a success in exchange. We've seen many instances in our culture where one's worth is based on how much "honour" and "face" value you can bring to your family/parents/loved one. One should never have to experience "love" that is dependent on their achievements. 

Love is not self-seeking. 



Nobody is a failure just because they experience failure. No one should be made to feel like a failure and have their worth defined by comparison. No one should have to feel like they are a failure that don't deserve love because they did not achieve something. ​

10 years ago, Vincent and Debra were on their honeymoon. Vincent was also on a quest to show Debra the home of his heart, mind and soul.  He decided that visiting a sleepy Welsh town called Dolgellau was a great idea. He didn't even know how to pronounce the name correctly. It was a rather peculiar plan for a honeymoon considering it was in the middle of a cold dark and windy winter. There was nothing to do and only a really expensive Chinese take-out was open by 4pm. If you consider all these factors and Debra's deep disdain of the wind, Dolgellau is a poor choice. 

To make up for that, Vincent took Debra on a drive down a path with many sheep and....field gates that she had to open by exiting the comforts of the car's warm heated seats. I bet she wasn't too impressed. As the windy path got really narrow and steep, Vincent fiddled with the manual gears of his rented Citroen wishing it was an automatic. At this point it could have really just ended with them not finding anything worth looking at and grumbling their way back to the hotel. It could have been one of those wasted trips that they would put behind them...

What they chanced upon at the end of the path was Cregennan Lakes. It was magical. In an instance, both Vincent and Debra fell deeply in love with the land. Apart from the wind and drizzle that cut short that magical moment, work was filling up their emails and it was time to head back to their daily grind on the equator. Ready at the gate for their 13.5 hour flight back, they were surprised that British Airways had upgraded them to business class. The bigger surprise was they were now three instead of two. 

The years that follow were hectic. Debra and Vincent pushed themselves far beyond what most people would consider sane. They built a family and a business but a deep subconscious yearning for that place they can feel at home remained. Vincent would always tell Debra, "I miss home". But that didn't make sense. He had a loving home. When Vincent's dad suddenly went home to be with the Lord, nothing made sense anymore. What is home? 

They embarked on a grand tour that would help them learn more about themselves, their children and what they were going to do with their lives...

7 months of travel later, they published a book, and this was one of the pages. They continued to dream of the land they would call home.

"It's been 10 years, just give up already..."
"Know when it is time to give up!"

These voices got louder and louder and it became immensely difficult to dream again. 

But here is Vincent, Debra, Matthias and Gwyneth in Dolgellau. It took 10 years but here they are.

Eateries, shops and the town felt alive. 4 of them felt alive! Especially with the delicious cheese cakes and full English that filled their tummies. 

Just like the previous time, Vincent wrangled a little Citroen up the really steep hills and tiny country roads. And as the lakes came into view, he played the Welsh hymn that has been playing all week at home. As Calon Lân ​played on the car stereo, there was silence in the car...

English translation:

I don't ask for a luxurious life,
the world's gold or its fine pearls,
I ask for a happy heart,
an honest heart, a pure heart.

A pure heart full of goodness
Is fairer than the pretty lily,
None but a pure heart can sing,
Sing in the day and sing in the night.

If I wished for worldly wealth,
It would swiftly go to seed;
The riches of a virtuous, pure heart
Will bear eternal profit.

Evening and morning, my wish
Rising to heaven on the wing of song
For God, for the sake of my Saviour,
To give me a pure heart.

As Vincent parked the car in the exact spot he parked 10 years ago, nobody moved. The stillness and silence in the car was in fact a guise to the fact that Debra and Vincent were both reduced to tears looking out of the window. The stillness did not reflect the immeasurable deluge of emotions. Both of them were suddenly and unexpectedly hit with the feeling of homecoming at that moment. Without saying a word to each other, they both felt the same incredible emotions. It took a really long time, but it finally felt right and complete. 

Having explored the place for themselves, the kids surprised their parents by asking them to take them there every day. 

"It takes a long time to drive here you know..."
"You can look for a house and we can stay here!"

They have all found their happy place. May this be their happily ever after...

An extraordinary afternoon later, they travelled down to the estuary that Vincent chanced upon while exploring the area via Google street view. The place looked strangely familiar. 

They drank in remembrance of their beloved dad and grandad.

This is our story of homecoming.
What's yours?

Our first British Summer is finally here. We've been out and about making the best of the dry weather and long days. Britain is GORGEOUS in summer! We hope you'll enjoy the 60 plus photos that'll come up in this bumper post. More than that I'd like to share a little of why we are surrendering. We are putting up the white flag.

SURRENDER 1.1 
Finally after 6 months, we have touched the sea again. We surrendered to the lure of the sea and being able to dress in shorts/t-shirt again. I think more than that is the fact we are back at a place we visited 10 years ago and were disappointed because it was closed. This is a recurring theme that I'll talk about in detail later. 

Brighton beach is my kind of beach. Instead of the regular sand, there are pebbles instead. No messy cleanups. Just strolling down the beach and enjoying the sea breeze brought smiles to all our faces. The pier is also an amazing place if you enjoy bumper cars and old school roller-coasters. The British seaside charm is a very unique experience that you can only fully experience in summer. It comes alive in summer and hibernates in winter. 

A short drive away down the Marine Parade was a series of white cliffs. The famed cliffs that inspired the song "The White Cliffs of Dover". Although this isn't dover,  it still evoked a moment of deep reflection. This was one of the last things we saw before Debra and I left the UK on our honeymoon 10 years ago. ​It was so stunning we were speechless. 

SURRENDER 1.2
With the dry weather going strong, we planned another trip a few days after returning from the South Coast. With our snack bag and lunch packs done up, we booked tickets to a museum in London and punched in the address on google maps. 1 hour into the drive, we hit the first of several traffic jams on the motorway. A quick time check made us realise that we can't take the kids to the play area and museum anymore. "Plan B then!" I thought to myself. We parked the car and realised that the cable-car station we planned to go to wasn't where we thought it was. It was a 20 minute walk away and we decided against picking a fight with the blazing hot sun. We surrendered. We quickly consulted google maps again and decided to take the river bus down the thames towards the most central areas of London. We were ALL thrilled with the speed and power of the boat as well as the awesome views. It was a special perspective to see the city from the Thames itself. 

You may be thinking...the UK can't be hotter than the tropics? Thing is, a lot of British homes and  public transport aren't built to deal with the heat. At 27 celcius it can feel like you are suffocating. Fans and air-conditioners DO NOT come standard in houses, buses and Underground trains. It can be a pretty miserable experience if you are in a packed train on the London Underground without air-conditioning. House windows usually come with very small openings. It is mostly a small narrow opening at the top. So we've been flying the white flag lately hoping for the colder days to come back. Life can be SO ironic isn't it?

On this trip, we have also surrendered our money at the Leicester Square Lego store. The selection at the store is massive. If you love Lego, you'll be amazed at the Aston Martin, London bus and Harry Potter themed life sized displays. We decided to get the kids very early birthday presents. Debra got a custom Lego figure that is seriously her alter-ego. Maybe when the kids are grown up, I'll be hanging out with a wife with neon pink hair at the beach. (Scroll down for example...)

The ride back to our car on the Elizabeth Line was a lot quieter and air-conditioned. We were greeted by a mesmerising sunset. 

SURRENDER 1.3
I think this is the biggest and most significant part of our surrender. Earlier, I spoke about the recurring theme of surrendering. At some point, one will realise how brutal life can be. There are moments that will completely wreck havoc in our lives. Just like a traffic jam or sudden closure, it can upset our plans. 10 years ago when Debra and I felt the disappointment of not being able to see Brighton Pier and South Stack Light house, I don't think we realised 10 very hard years were before us. 

Whether you call it God's plans, fate or just life, it takes a certain level of surrender to keep going. We need to realise that quite often, not everything can be planned or controlled. We dreamt and we planned in search of a homeland we would find wholesome for a family but the search was long and fruitless. The pandemic and my dad's passing rocked us real hard. The only way we could stay sane was when we surrendered and took one day at a time. 

Being back in North Wales at the South Stack Lighthouse was a very special moment. 

​We would never imagine that we will be here 10 years later with two children. It is extra special because after our trip here 10 years ago, we found out we were pregnant with Matthias. The beauty of Wales made such a huge impact that 3 years after that, I decided name my daughter Gwyneth which is the anglicised spelling of Gwynedd. Gwynedd is the Welsh county where Snowdonia is. That's also where our love affair with mountains began. How our lives are panning out now is beyond our wildest imagination. I believe in surrendering now. This surrender can bring a lot of peace. Putting away the pride and having faith that one day, things will work for our good keeps us going. 
​

The sea bashes the rocks and the winds assault the cliffs but seabird colonies continue to thrive. The rain lashes out but the flowers still bloom. The resilience in nature and its staggering beauty of remind us that out of the immense pressures something good will emerge! If you're facing a difficult time, don't give up.

​We ended our time in Wales around Great Orme in Llandudno. Gwyn enjoyed the views so much that she asked Debra and I if we could buy a house there so she can enjoy the views every day. Perhaps darling...perhaps. 

We'll see you guys round the corner for the next adventure!

It has been WARM, DRY and SUNNY! These 3 words are enough to help anyone living across the British isles break out a little smile. After a dark cold winter, we had a gloomy wet spring and now summer is finally upon us. Daytime temperatures are around 16 to 22 celcius which means we've packed away all our winter gear. It is now nice enough to head out in shorts and t-shirt. Best of all, it is still possible to enjoy the outdoors without soaking our clothes in sweat. 

We've clocked several hundred miles and travelled across the Yorkshire Dales, Lake District and Brecon Beacons. We've found ourselves exclaiming in immense joy and awe as we drive along tiny country roads. It is a feeling we haven't felt since we left Sapa, Vietnam and Cameron Highlands in Malaysia. Click here to read about all our other travels!

Now let's get to the fun parts!

SOUTH WALES (The Big Pit Coal Mine)

We drove over 2 hours before we got to South Wales. I was telling the kids that we had entered another country in the same country. We had crossed borders without our passports! It is a very unique union we've got here in Britain. The drive into the hilly parts strained our car's little 1 litre engine and there were many sections where we had to get down to gear 2 before we could make progress. 

We had never gone down a mine shaft before and we definitely knew nothing about mining. The Big pit is an amazing destination that's both educational, reflective and enjoyable. We got our free underground tickets before we headed to a waiting area. 

Our guides greeted us and brought us to a room to get kitted out with a special mining headlamp. The battery was strapped to our bodies and we had to wear a hard hat too. I was pleasantly surprised that they had equipment that fit children. They do weigh quite a few KGs but it was manageable even for Matt and Gwyn. We had to surrender ALL battery operated items because they can cause a spark and set off certain gases that the remaining coal may give off. All watches, car keys, mobile phones and cameras had to be put away on the surface before we took the "cage" down the shaft. 

We got down 90m underground and was led through various tunnels, shown the equipment used and told about the dangers miners faced. It was both a fascinating experience and a really reflective one. At one point, the guide instructed us to all turn off our lamps and try to see our palms in front of us to illustrate the darkness miners experienced in Victorian times. Women, children and men who couldn't afford candles (yes they had to buy their own to work the mines) worked in absolute darkness. Horses that were used to pull carts stayed underground for the rest of their lives once they entered the mine. The immense hardship and dangers they faced in that darkness is absolutely shocking. 

Out of these "dark satanic mills", homes were warmed, trains had steam and ships sailed across oceans. The dirty coal as we call it today advanced civilisation. I applaud the Welsh government for preserving the coal mine and funding the museum. It is completely free to visit and I think that helps us put things into perspective. Yes, we need to care for our environment and use cleaner fuels but we also need to remember the sacrifices of those who came before us too. 

We also got to ask many questions along the way and Gwyn asked the guide if she could try the tool that miners used to shovel coal into the cart. She got what she asked for! Her response was most hilarious "OH IT IS SO HEAVY! I don't think I can work here". I asked the guide how people did their "business" underground...he said "ANYWHERE!" and "sometimes they put a pile on the conveyor belts carrying coal up to the surface as a joke". Oh gosh....

We headed off to the mining simulator after we got back up to the surface. It was a light and sound show where machines from different eras come to life as miners shared their stories. A quick lunch later we headed off to scale the highest peak in South Wales. 

Pen y Fan

Measuring 886m above sea level, we thought it wouldn't be that tough to scale because our starting point was somewhere around 500m above sea level. The sun was out and the place looked absolutely gorgeous. 

10 minutes into the hike the burn in our quads and calves became pretty real. The incline was pretty punishing for amateur hikers like us. The sun felt pretty hot but the wind was intense and cold. It wasn't the most pleasant of climbs but we pressed on. Along the way we met the real champions: the sheep. They scale the peaks in search of the best tasting grass and hang around with their friends on perilously steep sides of the mountain. Unaffected by the wind, they graze leisurely while we huffed and puffed our way up. 

At around 780m just shy of the summit, the wind became very intense and the clouds blocked off the sunshine. Our muscles were crying out for a break. The children were increasingly whiny and it became clear we've reach our limit for the climb. We popped a few sandwiches into our tummies in that crazy wind and headed back down. The view was absolutely liberating. 

My ankles were sore and unstable for a few days after this climb and I realised that my boots didn't provide sufficient support. Wear proper hiking books with ankle support if you intend to climb here! The downhill is especially punishing on the joints because it very uneven and rocky on portions of the trail. 

We decided the next trip was to be a little more leisurely before we attempt anything like the Scafell pike (Highest point in England)...

Ribblehead Viaduct

Once we had recovered and stopped aching, we found our way to the Lake District via the Yorkshire Dales. The Ribblehead Viaduct is one of those scenic places that you can't miss in this area! Built between 1870 and 1874, this iconic viaduct cost more than 100 men their lives to build. It is still being used today!

I mean just look at it. It is AMAZING! You don't have to pay an entrance fee to enjoy it and the kids aren't fussing about sweating buckets. If the day ended here, it would have been pretty satisfying already. Then we saw a sign "Boats, Kayaks and Paddle-boards for rent". I looked at Debra in the eye and we both agreed without a single spoken word that WE HAD TO GO ON THE LAKE IN A BOAT! I headed straight to the rental booth and asked if I needed a boat license to drive and they said I didn't need one. It was GAME ON. 

We paid £40 for an hour and they fitted us with life jackets of the right size before briefing us about the health and safety rules. 

The kids were a little terrified in the beginning because it was their first time on an open top boat driven by their father haha! The kids were absolutely thrilled as we cruised along the lake. We kept checking with them if they were enjoying the activity and they said they were! They even suggested I buy a boat so we can do this again...ermm....

We didn't plan to do a boat ride because we didn't know we had this option but it turned out to be one of the best change of plans ever. We manage to catch a glimpse of the Wray Castle and the beautiful hills surrounding the picturesque lake. 

What are your plans this summer?

​Let us know in the comments what would be fun for the kids. We are always open to new ideas! We are happy to connect via chat and social media channels too! 

One year ago in April 2022, we gave up all we've known to travel for 7 months across South-East Asia. (If you're interested and want to read those, click on the blog categories at the bottom of the page to see our travels by country!) We walked on through the wind, through the rain, through the tears, had our dreams tossed and blown. We tried to find healing for our grief and a way forward but nothing seemed to work. We tried out best to walk through the storms with our heads held high.

Life can be rough. In fact, it can be rough for an excruciatingly long time. It is so easy to lose sight of it all in a storm. But I hope that whatever your circumstances may be, you'll walk on. I hope you'll walk on with hope in your heart and that you'll never walk alone. 

We just said goodbye to April 2023 and it looks like we've finally seen off the worst of the storms. The shadows of the storms of life along with the gloomy bitterly cold winter has gone. We can finally see glimpses of the golden sky. We are here we are in the United Kingdom settled like we've been here forever. The kids are done with their semester of homeschooling, I've turned 12,500 words into turn-it-in while Debra has kept us all happy and alive with yummy grub. 

As you will notice with the pictures below, we've shedded the layers of thick clothing because t-shirt weather is finally starting to arrive. We've been so blessed by a couple of days of amazing sunshine and balmy 16-19 celcius weather. ​

​We had the opportunity to visit an apple orchard in Cotswold this week. No luck with the apples because apple picking season is in summer so we still have a little bit of waiting to do. Having lived our entire lives in a city, we were absolutely clueless about the times crops are sown and harvested. We'll keep learning! We did manage to buy some apple juice and enjoyed a nature trek around the property. The cool air and warm sunshine made everything look so stunning. ​

 家 (home) is a very peculiar mandarin character. The top part represents a roof and the bottom letter represents a pig. I'm inclined to think that the ancient Chinese person's home is where their most treasured roast pork is. There is perhaps much wisdom in this because the English speaking world would agree that home is where your heart is. ​

I've be raised all my life to think that Singapore is my home. Compulsory education meant that I was taught the right brand of history, learnt the national education objectives and sang the national anthem every single day for 12 years. I was conscripted by law to an elite military unit for 2 years to defend the only "home" I knew. I thought I knew where home was. When I returned to Singapore in 2010 after my stint at Loughborough University, I suffered a severe identity crisis. All that I was taught and ever knew was suddenly questioned and I did not have the answers. 

Since then, I've tried explaining why I felt more at home in the UK. I was dismissed as an anglophile and a young man who doesn't know how lucky he was to be Singaporean. I've also been told many times to look at the strikes, the political "mess" and the statistics that condemn Britain as a shameful fallen empire. These people quote Singapore's GDP per capita, multi-million dollar properties, high HDB (public housing flat) ownership and highly ranked efficiency almost like a religious mantra to justify their pride of being Singaporean. The thing is, I am not questioning why you call Singapore home. 

The crisis is MINE. 
The questions are MINE. 
Home should MINE TO DEFINE.
​

Home is where you thrive. 
Thriving is beyond just making money.
Thriving is about growing, learning, being a better person and being emotionally healthy. Thriving is also being kind to others, encouraging others and being wholesome.
Thriving is for those with exceptional abilities that don't fit in a prescribed schedule. 
Thriving is also for people with disabilities.
Thriving is for all personalities. 

13 years later in spring 2023, I am still trying to answer the questions and define what home is to me and my family. Here is a little portion of my recent thoughts...

HOME IS WHERE WE LEARN AND GROW
It has taken a whole new dimension now that I see my own children thriving in the UK. I see Gwyn getting excited about dance class, loving Sunday school and asking her homeschool parents for more work. She feels heard and understood and therefore She WANTS to learn. We are so grateful that she doesn't have to feel unduly pressured to perform. 

She greets me at the door when I get back to ask me, "Papa, what did you do at University today? What did you learn today?". She does it EVERYDAY. It touches my heart that she sees the importance of taking something away every time you go to class. I want our home and country to be one that protects and nurtures this attitude. ​

The strongest desire to learn must also be met with the opportunity to do so. We are over the moon that Matthias is being mentored by a volunteer to be a radio presenter. He ran his first live show on a community radio station here in Leicester last weekend. The beauty of it all is that there are many others who are passionate about sharing their craft with others in and around the country. 

Learning is not about getting a grade or getting up a ranking table. Learning is not an unpleasant rite of passage to a job. We should learn zealously because we are infinitely curious and passionate of a certain craft/field. If it leads to a good vocation, that's a bonus. If it doesn't, the attitude itself will set us on a good path wherever we choose to venture. This is not a predominant belief where I grew up. ​

​HOME IS WHERE THE SPACE AND CLIMATE PROMOTES GOOD HEALTH
I think it is hard to call a place home if the climate brings you an incredible amount of distress and health issues. British people moan about the rain, snow, sleet and gloomy skies all the time but we'd rather have these than being a sweaty mess in extreme humidity all day long. When the sun comes out, many like us are compelled to head out there and make the best of the sunshine. It encourages us to exercise and get outdoors. 

And when we do get outdoors, we are always given a huge boost of endorphins. Being able to go trekking without being completely drenched in sweat makes us want to walk more, climb more and play more. There's trees to climb, sticks to pick and rocks to scale. We come home happy and do not have to worry about an eczema flare up. ​

Seeing the seasons change and flowers bloom must be one of the biggest highlights of our time here. We really don't mind a home where we are surrounded by a lively natural environment that isn't a curated concrete man-made place. In fact, this has grown our desire to learn about and appreciate the nature around us. It is such a wholesome experience! 

I've also mentioned in our previous blog posts about how we are more able to find gluten-free grocery and dining options here. Allergies are taken very seriously and they never have to feel left out when snacks are given out. You can't feel at home if food around you is making you feel constantly unwell can you?

HOME IS WHERE THERE'S KINDNESS

Our kids have had crazy amount of fun playing with other children they have met for the first time.  I have witnessed groups of kids readily stop their game and give a Gwyn a go at the football/ basketball. Some of them were complete strangers. Our kids don't get strange stares when they initiate play or a conversation here. It just feels so wholesome that children can be children and not grow up with a constant wall of defence against some perceived threat. They way kids play (or don't play) reflects a huge deal about the home and country they live in. 

I don't want to paint the UK as some kind of heaven. It isn't.
But if I really have to compare the road cultures, it has been heavenly here.

Most people give way to others. Put on your indicators in Singapore, it is almost likely that the car behind will cut you off. People in the opposite direction use their high beams to say, I'm slowing down for you, you can go ahead and turn. In Singapore, high beam is used to maliciously blind the person in front because they have offended you in some way. ​

​
​People let their hazard lights blink twice here to say thank you. In Singapore, it is quite often used when you are pretending to stop due to hazards but is fact brake checking someone. The horn is rarely used here unless there's real danger or in a very occasional moment of rage. In Singapore, it's the quintessential way of saying "f*** off" on the roads daily. 

Way more patience, way more kindness, way less stressed. That's how a home should be, no?

​HOME
The idea of home is a very personal one. Considering what are the most important aspects of home can be very beneficial. It could change the culture in your house, it could change the path of your family and it can start a quest like how it did for us. What's your idea of home? ​

Why the countryside? 
Yes, it is in the middle of nowhere but it is also the center of it all. The countryside is where our food comes from and it is where we can run away to seek refuge from our stressful lives. It is food for both the soul and stomach. 

More than 25 years ago, my dad brought the family for a vacation on a farm in rural South Australia. A little Singaporean city boy who knew nothing but a concrete jungle all his life was suddenly staying in a little cottage on a piece of land so vast he could see the nothing but fields stretching all the way to the horizon. I was ecstatic that I was free to run around (and not sweat because it was winter), sit around a fire and go shoot hares at night with the big boys. Yes, it was dusty, muddy, cold and we battled the houseflies. Those were worthy inconveniences for the liberation I felt. My love for the countryside deepened even further during my last stint in the UK.

Now that we're back, I try my best to do the same for my family. We jump into our little hatchback and drive out of our village into the country or farm when the weather gods are happy to bestow us a precious dry and sunny winter's day. We were so blessed to have one of those days at Stonehurst farm in Mountsorrel (A village north of Leicester City near Loughborough) yesterday.
​

COURAGE, KNOWLEDGE AND HEART RATE

Those who have stuck with us for the past 6 years would know that Hiro & Jack are the names of our late guinea pigs. They lived long lives (5 and 8 years) and we loved them to bits. Our human kids literally learned how to walk by holding themselves up with the guinea pig cage. They talked to the guinea pigs, stroked them and fed them. But somehow they became very fearful of animals after the piggies passed on and after two years of the pandemic madness. 

​We've been trying our best to help them overcome that fear. They did pick up courage to stroke cats/dogs while we traveled last year. This visit to the farm surprised us at what being outdoors can do to the confidence in kids. ​

​Old places, things and buildings give us a sense of stability in our identity and acts as a reference point for us. The sense of place forms our identities, sometimes personally and sometimes as a collective. When I first stepped foot in Britain and the rest of Europe, I observed how they have kept vast amounts of old buildings and archived artefacts in museums. You can find a museum for anything from transportation, space, natural history, art, science, astrology to lawnmowers. (There's really a British Lawnmower Museum  in Southport!) Debra and I often laugh about how the Brits are such hoarders because they keep and preserve everything.

We visited Oxford for an afternoon last weekend and the realisation hit me like a freight train. These worthless "Skeletons" that are preserved do tell a story. That story is continuously told to generations and beyond if we preserve, display and teach about them. Museums, old buildings, old things and skeletons are important because they are depositories of our collective cultural and historical identities. They make us, us. 

Preservation of heritage is not just a frivolous nostalgic exercise.
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​We were also excited to find some ancient Egyptian artefacts and other artefacts that helped us make sense of history. How did writing come about? What is embalming? It is one thing reading about it, it is another seeing, hearing, being physically present and touching something as a process of learning.  Both kids were never fond of museums before we came to Britain. They are now excited about going to one because they make their books and Horrible Histories show come alive. 
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Hello there! We are so glad you're back here with us in 2023! We really hope 2023 is being kind to you wherever you are! I can't be more grateful to be another year older surrounded by the people I love dearly. 
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​We are really grateful that after any good long walk, we will be absolutely ravenous. That means our food tastes better and gives us more satisfaction! 

Yes it is disruptive, uncomfortable, a lot of work and dangerous at times but like any occupation, we are grateful for what it gives us. Winters can and do bring great satisfaction as well as enjoyment.

You can't get rainbows without the rain. You can't have the amazing four seasons without winter. ​

I'm grateful beyond words that I was able to visit this place as a single man, a married couple and now as a father of two. Perhaps visiting this railway could be our new Christmas tradition for all future generations! You can see the train move on our Instagram page: www.instagram.com/hiroandjack
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HOW ARE THE KIDS ADJUSTING?

These shocking truths don't really affect the kids as much as their parents who have to make the pounds and pence work out. They are getting used to the cold but learning is business as usual. They get their daily dose of regular English, Math, Tamil and Science along with age appropriate TV programmes on the BBC.

​It is one thing reading about steam power and another to experiencing it happening before you. The kids are amazed at how that huge machine actually comes alive. That's how we try to make it fresh and exciting for them. The sense of wonder fuels lifelong learning. Not skills future credits. We need to rekindle our own sense of wonder so that we'll WANT to learn! It shouldn't be out of desperation to keep a job but should be out of a genuine desire to pursue knowledge. 

HOW ARE THE GROWN UPS ADJUSTING?

We are getting back the hang of cooking our own yummy food, loving football and having to vacuum clean the house. So far I've also been quite successful at trying not stall our little manual hatchback because most cars here in UK are stick shift (manual gearbox). 
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GOODBYE 2022

We dared not expect 2022 to end the way it has. It feels good to be grounded again. As the year draws to a close, we have a little more reason to look forward to the new year with optimism and hope. We wish the same for you.

Thank you for being around in 2022! We hope you'll stick around and continue to journey with us in our odd lives next year. 

​We pray you'll have a very joyous year ahead with a lot of hugs, kisses and time spent with your loved ones. 

Signing off for 2022. ​